Our days are numbered

Years ago(more than 4), I made a deal with some of my cousins called the 4 year plan. We agreed to all start having children around the same time so our children would have family around the same ages, similar to what our parents did. Me and my big mouth didn't plan on being terrified to have a baby. All I could do was think about how we could make it work and have enough money to have everything be perfect. I didn't realize then, how I would feel now. One of my cousin's who already had a child asked me something so simple that I will never forget and really changed my outlook. She asked me, "What are you waiting for?" She didn't need to say anything else. She has been battling cancer for several years and it all was suddenly put into perspective. What the f am I waiting for really?

In 2008 a few things happened that changed my life. First, I lost my job. It wasn't the best job in the world, but I really loved it and the people there. I had hoped to have worked there until retirement. But all good things must end right? I already paid for and planned a vacation with Drew and two of our good friends to Costa Rica and I although I knew money would be tight, I knew that it would be an experience that being conservative couldn't replace. It's not like we had kids or anything. It was AWESOME, beautiful and perfect timing because not too long afterwards, we found out I was pregnant. Pregnant with no job and no plan. Who was I? Cheesy as it sounds, it wasn't important because I had Drew and we were in love and knew that we could do anything. We made it work and it wasn't perfect but it was perfect for us. Looking back now, its hard to imagine feeling like we couldn't move forward in our life without a certain amount of money.

Being pregnant with no job was wonderful. I took naps, read several books, got the nursery painted and decorated, did laundry and ran errands. And when Desmond was born, I didn't have to worry about going back to work in six weeks. I was able to be a stay at home mom for the past year and spend every day with the most amazing person I have ever met. He is the best gift. I have been very lucky to get to experience the past two years at home. But this too is ending. I am going back to work. I won't bore you with the our list of pros and cons for making this decision, only say it works for us. My heart is breaking though when I think of how many hours of my day I will be away from Desmond. It is going to be very hard. So now I must focus on and appreciate the time we did have together. Here are some shots of my baby turned little boy.



3 days old

2 months

4 months

6 months

8 months

10 months

1 year

now (16 months)